“I’ve been fortunate to receive therapy from Xinyi for about three years now, but it wasn’t until the last two that I — as well as my friends and family — saw a big improvement in my mental health. One of the reasons for this improvement was my own desire for change after a suicide attempt. So, for any prospective patient, I think it’s okay to be a bit hesitant as long as you have an open-mind and you’re willing to learn. 

I began therapy with Xinyi after seeing multiple doctors for depression, an eating disorder, and (more recently) academic and career pressure when I started school in Yale-NUS. I was first diagnosed with depression at age 14 and was already on medication since then, but before I met Xinyi, I felt like I was barely coping with my symptoms and felt little connection with the different therapists I saw. In contrast, what makes Xinyi special to me is: first, she works with me— instead of just talking at me — to figure out patterns in my past behaviour; second, she gives me practical feedback on a variety of concerns ranging from advice about career and family to body-image and lastly, she is compassionate and non-judgemental.

For example, when I was discharged from the hospital after my suicide attempt, during our first couple of sessions, she patiently listened to me before explaining concepts that helped me better understand my experiences. The events leading up to my attempt, my history with depression, the unhealthy ways I used to cope — she gently pointed out patterns in my behaviour, we talked about why these patterns might have persisted, and she then gave me alternative ways to cope (because if you can’t change your circumstances at the very least you can change the way you react to them). Still, she did all this without showing any judgement for my past; she never made me feel cornered or ashamed. Instead, she actively listened, offered sympathy when sympathy was due, and tried to see things from my point of view. 

Moreover, I initially had the misconception that you only came into therapy when you’re at rock-bottom — I now know that this isn’t true. I now believe that therapy isn’t just about solving your problems, but also improving the good things that are already in your life, i.e., constant self-improvement. Early on in my therapy with Xinyi, we worked on more immediate topics like suicidal ideation, my self-esteem, and my eating disorder; now, I seek Xinyi’s advice on finding a fulfilling future career, growing my friendships, keeping a healthy work-life balance, etc. Thus, even if you don’t have a mental illness, if you have the means to do so, anyone can benefit from therapy. This is my sincerest belief now that I’ve been lucky enough to meet Xinyi.”