Adults’ Reflections.
Curious — and perhaps a little nervous — about taking that first step? That’s completely natural. Beginning therapy can feel unfamiliar, even intimidating, especially if you’ve never spoken to a psychotherapist before.
Some past and present clients have kindly shared reflections on their therapeutic journeys — what it felt like to begin, what surprised them, and how things gradually shifted over time. Their words are offered to help make the process feel less unknown, and to give you a clearer sense of whether this kind of support might be right for you.
You may find that certain reflections feel closer to your own experience than others.
If a particular profile resonates with you — whether in age, life stage, or the challenges described — you’re welcome to click through and read more about that individual’s therapeutic journey.
Take your time reading. And if, at some point, you feel ready to explore this for yourself, you’re welcome to get in touch. We can begin at a pace that feels comfortable for you.
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M, 48, C-Suite in Fintech; evolving family dynamics, parenting, professional excellence
“I came to see Xinyi a few years ago when I was seeking support in transitioning myself out of a toxic relationship and struggling to juggle multiple responsibilities in my life. In addition to being a single father to a pre-teen and having a demanding senior leadership role in the dynamic tech industry, I needed to feel a great sense of self-value and actualisation.
Xinyi helped me identify issues and relationships to prioritise while patiently listening and guiding me through many difficult phases of the turnaround and recovery journey. What struck me as so special about Xinyi’s approach was that she demonstrated sharp acumen to pick up and deep-dive into issues that really affected me emotionally and mentally and to engage in active discussion to correctly assess and help me understand the issues. She also showed me versatility to reframe my perception of issues that previously demotivated me to take action and then to translate to actionable follow-up items.
As I recently remarried and have a new addition to the family, dynamics have evolved and increased in complexity. I look forward to continuing to seek Xinyi’s guidance and support in navigating through new challenges in this new phase of my life.”
F, 25, Research Assistant; depression, anxiety, self-harm, body image, boundaries, assertiveness, work stress
“I first saw Xinyi in 2019, seeking support in managing school stress and escalating suicidal ideations. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and worked with her to identify triggers by talking through my history of low self-esteem, self-harm, illness, body image, and family dynamic issues. Our sessions helped me develop healthier coping methods that were sustainable in my daily routines; these were tailored to changing my negative thought patterns and habits. I learned to prioritise tasks and work more efficiently, which gave me confidence in surviving, and eventually thriving, in competitive, high-stress environments.
I was also encouraged to reflect upon certain core beliefs that limited my self-growth by keeping me in a victimising and fearful mindset. I built trust in myself through practising techniques Xinyi recommended to me in tackling academic, personal, and familial challenges, and seeing positive results from them.
Notably, I became acutely aware and respectful of my mental and physical limitations, knowing when to rest and when to push myself out of my comfort zone in moderation. I appreciate Xinyi’s genuine, considerate, and knowledgeable presence that encourages me to be vulnerable and honest about what needs to change and how I can do better. I also appreciate her holistic readings of my various life situations, which allow me to hone my own judgement while recognising others’ alternative perspectives. This partnership expands my understanding of myself and how I can better navigate this world given my strengths and areas to improve upon.
Additionally, Xinyi affirms my efforts and celebrates my achievements, thus giving me the assurance that I am progressing in the right direction. I feel supported in our meetings, even when we are having difficult conversations, and they are always well-paced and thoughtfully led. I am looking forward to working with Xinyi in my transition to working life, to become a more assertive, perceptive, and communicative individual.”
F, 27, Clinical Psychologist; depression, anxiety, self-harm, grief and loss, management of ASD features, parent-child dynamics, work excellence
“I have been seeking support from Xinyi for the past 8 years. When I first met Xinyi, I was battling symptoms of depression and anxiety, including self-harm and panic attacks. I was also struggling to cope with grief from loss of a loved one, and had significant difficulty managing personal relationships with people around me.
I speak to Xinyi about the adverse childhood events that I’ve experienced, and we discuss how these experiences shape the way I perceive the world, my triggers, and my deep-rooted habits. I also speak to Xinyi about my relationship with substance use, and the impulsive urges that I struggle to overcome. Recently, I also noticed features of autism spectrum disorder; I’m in the process of learning ways to cope and adapt to this, and we discuss how to capitalise on some of these features to enhance my productivity and efficiency at work. Additionally, Xinyi has supported me in my journey to improve my sleep hygiene, as I struggle with nocturnal panic attacks and recurrent nightmares due to stress and anxiety I experience during the day.
In my sessions with Xinyi, I feel understood, validated, and seen. She continues to guide me through any adversities I experience in a non-judgemental, honest, and empathetic manner, and I leave our therapy sessions feeling motivated to continue working on myself. Xinyi has helped me gain a better understanding of myself, and not only have I grown more confident in my strengths, but I have also gained the courage to improve on my weaknesses. In achieving a greater understanding of myself, I have also become more aware of my triggers, unhealthy thought patterns, and reactive behaviours. I use this knowledge to reflect on myself outside of our sessions, enhancing the gains that I receive from therapy.
Importantly, I learned the skills needed to cope with distressing emotions and overcome impulsive urges, as well as tools to manage my relationships with loved ones. The skills I have picked up through therapy with Xinyi are tailored to my needs so that I can effectively problem-solve and go through difficult life situations in a healthier manner. Over the years, Xinyi has journeyed with me through many ups and downs and we have discussed many interesting topics. At each stage of my life, Xinyi has supported me to actualise my goals and motivated me to make positive changes in all aspects of my life.
While I first met Xinyi in order to cope with depression and anxiety, through our time working together I have also learned how to manage moments of stress and burnout, and received coaching to excel in my educational and career goals. I have learned how to cope with the sensory difficulties I experience and improve my sleep hygiene. I trust Xinyi to be open, empathetic, and knowledgeable regardless of the issues I am facing, and know that I can always seek her support whenever I am facing any difficulties. I look forward to continue learning more about myself through our partnership, showing myself more self-compassion, and overcoming my maladaptive coping mechanisms.”
“I first started seeing Xinyi during Junior College while was going through a particularly difficult episode of depression. I wasn't the kind of person who tended to share very deep feelings with my friends and family, so a lot of times it was like my emotions were bottled up and didn't have anywhere to go. There were many times I thought about ending my life, and at that point, I truly believed that there was no fixing how I felt.
Seeking formal treatment was one of the best decisions I think I ever made. It was tough for me to admit that I needed therapy, but I don't think I can discount how cathartic and freeing it was being able to share everything with no filter and being completely open with my feelings for the first time. Xinyi was great at creating a welcoming environment where I felt safe and understood, and having that was a lifesaver during a period where I felt incredibly alone.
She taught me how to process my emotions in a more positive and less maladaptive way while acknowledging that they were valid, and helped me to internalize that it wasn't me who was the problem -- it was my mental illness. Learning how to separate the two was one of the core lessons I learned during therapy. Additionally, Xinyi helped me to identify my strengths and gave me the motivation I needed to help me achieve my goal of studying at my dream school in America.
Currently, I work in New York, also in the mental health field, and am planning on pursuing a graduate degree in clinical or counseling psychology, especially because I know first-hand the impact that a good therapist can have on someone's life. For me, Xinyi was that person and she can definitely be that for you. I think the fact that she still checks in with me years after my last in-person session with her and even though I'm living and working in America shows just how much she cares for her clients.
If you're interested in therapy, I would definitely recommend giving Xinyi a visit.”
F, 23, Mental Health Care Coordinator; major depression, sexual identity, family dynamics, boundaries and assertiveness
M, 40, Doctor; anxiety, trauma, caregiver burnout, job stress
“I sought help from Xinyi for anxiety, trauma, and job stress.
Through our sessions, Xinyi was able to inject objectivity into the situation that I was in, helping me to see things objectively and help me tangibly form realistic and practical next steps that helped me walk out of that dark period of challenge. Her authentic and candor nature helps put even the most anxious at ease. This, coupled with her ability to gain a quick understanding of the situation, detail-orientedness, and sensitivity towards the nuances of the scenario greatly helps in the coaching and support rendered.
I look forward to continuing my partnership with Xinyi. I welcome the continued injection of her sharp but very accurate analysis of any challenges that one might face, and the ability to sit down together with me to formulate a very real and pragmatic approach on a step-by-step basis of how to walk on and out of the valleys and challenges that life might throw at us.”
F, 35, Tech; work stress and burnout, leadership management skills, finding purpose
“I've been with Xinyi since 2017, and we've been working together on several areas for support. Initially, we focused on managing work stress and burnout, but it grew to cover more areas both professionally (e.g. team management, work satisfaction, setting boundaries) and personally (e.g. anxiety, resilience building).
I've met with several therapists prior to meeting Xinyi. I've continued on with her through the years as Xinyi is really great at breaking down challenges into smaller pieces, helping me understand my behaviour, and providing excellent recommendations on possible next steps. She offers great perspective, remembers key details, and has a great sense of humour when it’s helpful and value-adds to my understanding. Building a rapport with Xinyi over the years has been helpful, as she can offer me direction based on knowing how I react to certain situations and stress. As a result, over the last few years, I've found success in better managing my emotions, coping with work stress, managing my anxiety, and building resiliency. It's had a positive impact on my work, my personal relationships, and also my own personal happiness.
I look forward to continuing working together with Xinyi. Her knowing my history, and us having great rapport, have been critical in my self-improvement journey. As my life changes and new challenges approach, I feel confident that Xinyi is the best at helping me navigate life’s ups and downs.”
“I was looking for support in managing my anxiety and depression. As many of us experienced during and after the COVID-19 pandemic, I struggled with multiple major life changes in a short span of time: moving to live in a new country, job stress, the end of a long-term relationship and health crisis in the family.
I started seeing Xinyi in 2021 and felt listened to and understood. At that point, I felt like there were too many stressors clouding my mind and felt overwhelmed and unable to manage. With Xinyi’s specialist support, I learned that it was possible to reframe and resize what I originally thought were major issues. I received practical tools which helped me manage my daily stress, and found each session to be a boost of positivity, making me more optimistic about my ability to overcome dark thoughts.
My aim in life is to try to be optimistic in the face of life’s constant challenges, and to see them as opportunities to learn to do things with a different approach. Regularly discussing and dissecting these challenges with Xinyi has given me an objective and fresh perspective on things. I believe that therapy can also benefit those who have been fortunate and are not yet experiencing any mental health issues; I recommend that everyone give therapy a go, and see for themselves the value of receiving constant feedback from a neutral party who is not a family member or partner.”
M, 42, Marketing Manager; anxiety, depression, caregiver burnout, boundaries, adjusting to new country (expat stress)
M, 32, IT Specialist; schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, anxiety, job stress
“I have seen a number of psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists and counsellors over a period of close to 20 years, and I wish I had found Xinyi much sooner.
I started seeing her in 2017, and Xinyi quickly disproved my initial skepticism with her non-judgemental and individualised approach to the sessions, often sharing points that contrasted from the cookie-cutter responses I got from others. Xinyi also validated my thoughts and feelings (even if they would typically be considered extremely off-putting to most people), and worked with me on practical strategies to cope through difficult times when I was experiencing a mix of schizoaffective/bipolar disorder episodes or other anxiety/mood issues.
Her coaching has proved invaluable to me, and to anyone going through a challenging time, I would encourage having an initial session with Xinyi. She has helped me immensely and is more than able to lend you a helping hand too. Thank you Xinyi!”
“When I first met Xinyi in mid-2019, I was seeking support and coaching for depression. I remember clearly that I was very withdrawn, and could not speak much during our first session; it was as though I had lost my voice and I just wanted to hide or sink into the chair. At that point, I was experiencing many negative events concurrently, and the trauma was amplified to the point where my will to live and confidence were depleted. I also struggled with anxiety, eating disorder, sleeping difficulties and self-harm. I felt I had completely lost my direction in life and was fearful of waking up every day.
Xinyi helped me regain my voice and lower the fear of being alive in me. This whole journey of adulting has been really challenging and I am grateful to Xinyi for walking me through it step by step.
She taught me how to present and carry myself so that my voice can be projected, and this helped me to slowly regain confidence in myself. She taught me how to set routines and rediscover my interests and I am now able to set goals and find joy in my hobbies. She equipped me with various ways to cope with stress and has always been patient to listen to all my issues, slowly going through them with me. She made sessions feel so easy that they feel like a catch-up session with a friend rather than a formal therapy session. I don’t know where I would be now if not for her, and this bond is one thing that I really hold close to my heart.
It has been 3 years since I first met Xinyi, and I am glad to be able to journey my life with her. Being able to speak now is still a miracle to me each day, and I really treasure my voice now, much more than before. She watched me grow over the years and there have certainly been tremendous, positive changes in my life.
I look forward to growing further with her step by step, as I progress to different phases in my life. This partnership is nothing short of great and Xinyi is the most patient person in my life. Xinyi is one big pillar of support to me that I will never forget. She is reliable, amiable, and always smiling to welcome her clients to sessions. Thank you for being a part of my life.”
F, 26, Student Care Staff; major depression with psychosis, anxiety, self-harm, eating disorder, parent-child dynamics, self-worth, assertiveness
M, 24, University Student; coping with autism, hallucinations, suicidal thoughts, family dynamics, social skills, stress and anger management
“I started seeing Xinyi as I was seeking support in areas regarding adjustment issues, emotional outbursts, coping with hallucinations and suicidal thoughts. I also struggled with strained relationships with some of my family members.
Xinyi was able to guide me and taught me skills and abilities that have helped me manage my mood, as well as interact with other people in a more pleasant way. These skills are helpful as I have autism, and it is very difficult for me to understand social interaction. I have learned to feel more comfortable and confident in small groups, and as I continue to see Xinyi, I look forward to learning new skills in how I can interact with others on a wider scale.
I am also seeking a better understanding of family members through therapy and learning ways to have better conversations that allow us to compromise instead of fight. Xinyi has been a fundamental help with this and the continuation of our consultation helps with teaching me to understand myself and my family better.”
F, 25, Theatre Professional; anxiety, neurodivergent-related stress, work stress and burnout, assertiveness skills
“I see Xinyi for help for my anxiety and mild depression. Since I started therapy, I find it much easier to identify why I may be feeling a certain way, how I got there and what I can do to help myself.
My anxious thoughts, feelings and reactions were put into perspective and validated - not necessarily in the sense that I shouldn't take responsibility for my behaviours, but validated in the sense that there are reasons and/or triggers that influence my general anxious state, and therefore it's okay to take the space and time I need to take care of myself. It's easy to default to withdrawing and shutting down, but I've been shown that I can adopt healthier coping mechanisms, and there are really simple things I can do to "reset" and get myself out of an anxiety-triggered rabbit hole.
I'm looking forward to Xinyi's continued support and understanding, as that has helped me feel more capable of being in control of my issues and past unhealthy behavioural patterns.”
“I started seeing Xinyi for therapy as I needed support in managing my anxiety which could then quickly lead to feelings of depression. Since young, my anxiety stemmed from the pressures of academic and school life; it has always been a gateway that slowly resulted in other “smaller” problems in life becoming more apparent and these would then snowball during times of increased stress and pressure, such as assignment seasons or exam periods.
Seeing Xinyi has helped to equip me with simple but practical techniques that can be used day-to-day to help me ground myself, perform under pressure, and challenge my self-sabotaging thoughts. She has also helped discuss and work on the sources that were causing such feelings, and come up with practical ways for me to manage the stress of everyday life.
As we continue our sessions together, I hope to be able to continue working on the same matters, helping me to build more resilience while also being able to acknowledge and healthily solve the daily challenges that I may face ahead.”
M, 25, University Student; anxiety, depression, ADHD management, executive functioning skills, academic stress
“I’ve been fortunate to receive therapy from Xinyi for about three years now, but it wasn’t until the last two that I — as well as my friends and family — saw a big improvement in my mental health. One of the reasons for this improvement was my own desire for change after a suicide attempt. So, for any prospective patient, I think it’s okay to be a bit hesitant as long as you have an open-mind and you’re willing to learn.
I began therapy with Xinyi after seeing multiple doctors for depression, an eating disorder, and (more recently) academic and career pressure when I started school in Yale-NUS. I was first diagnosed with depression at age 14 and was already on medication since then, but before I met Xinyi, I felt like I was barely coping with my symptoms and felt little connection with the different therapists I saw. In contrast, what makes Xinyi special to me is: first, she works with me— instead of just talking at me — to figure out patterns in my past behaviour; second, she gives me practical feedback on a variety of concerns ranging from advice about career and family to body-image and lastly, she is compassionate and non-judgemental.
For example, when I was discharged from the hospital after my suicide attempt, during our first couple of sessions, she patiently listened to me before explaining concepts that helped me better understand my experiences. The events leading up to my attempt, my history with depression, the unhealthy ways I used to cope — she gently pointed out patterns in my behaviour, we talked about why these patterns might have persisted, and she then gave me alternative ways to cope (because if you can’t change your circumstances at the very least you can change the way you react to them). Still, she did all this without showing any judgement for my past; she never made me feel cornered or ashamed. Instead, she actively listened, offered sympathy when sympathy was due, and tried to see things from my point of view.
Moreover, I initially had the misconception that you only came into therapy when you’re at rock-bottom — I now know that this isn’t true. I now believe that therapy isn’t just about solving your problems, but also improving the good things that are already in your life, i.e., constant self-improvement. Early on in my therapy with Xinyi, we worked on more immediate topics like suicidal ideation, my self-esteem, and my eating disorder; now, I seek Xinyi’s advice on finding a fulfilling future career, growing my friendships, keeping a healthy work-life balance, etc. Thus, even if you don’t have a mental illness, if you have the means to do so, anyone can benefit from therapy. This is my sincerest belief now that I’ve been lucky enough to meet Xinyi.”
F, 21, University Student; anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorder/body dysmorphia, academic stress, burnout, individuation
M, 37, HR Professional; depression, anxiety, marital stress, caregiver burnout, suicide and self-harm, work stress
“I started seeing Xinyi several years ago when I was diagnosed with major depression.
After the first few sessions, she identified that my stressors came from work and family commitments, and started working with me on them. Other than addressing how to manage the stressors, Xinyi also guided me on building resilience and setting clear boundaries to protect my wellbeing. She is very well-versed in adapting her therapy when my stressors manifest in different ways. In addition, she balances showing empathy and being firm on her advice when needed.
I have dramatically improved since my first session with Xinyi, and I look forward to working with her as I continue to go through different stages in my personal and professional lives.”
“Xinyi was exactly the positive influence I needed to turn my life around. I was first referred to her during a low point in my early adult life, and since then, she has been nothing short of a constant source of affirmation, wisdom, and support — even when I didn't necessarily believe I deserved these positive things.
At times, my mental illness would make me want to lash out at others, act sulky and just generally be a negative person whom my friends and family wouldn’t want to linger around. Worst of all, this toxic energy would sometimes trail me into the consultation room, but even then, Xinyi has never made me feel like a monster, nor did she enable or encourage me to keep up these bad habits. It was with this professional approach and her seasoned record of ‘psychologist superpower-ing’ that Xinyi was able to help me find my way to some semblance of healing.
On our earliest meeting when I was hospitalised after a suicide attempt, the first lesson Xinyi ever imparted to me was about self-compassion. Now that I have gotten the help I needed to better understand what that means (with the occasional slip-ups here and there, but that's what therapy is for), I wish to return some of that compassion with this reflection — to help share with others how I benefitted from therapy, and how you can too.
I believe anyone who has ever felt like they've lost control of their mental, emotional and social well-being would benefit tremendously from having someone like Xinyi in their life. She was the older sister I never had — and yes, while she wasn't the only reason I wanted to work on bettering myself, she sure was the catalyst to this state of peace I can now (at least, on most days) call mine.”
F, 23, Healthcare Analyst; anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, boundaries, family dynamics
