Client Reflections.
Curious, yet nervous about taking that important first step? That’s normal, and completely expected; coming to see a psychotherapist for the very first time can seem intimidating and anxiety-provoking.
Some of my clients, past and present, have kindly penned their thoughts and feelings about their journey through therapy. We hope that this will help demystify the experience and allow you to get more clarity about whether this might be what you’re looking for.
Read on, and when you feel ready to start, get in touch, and we’ll begin our journey to a healthier, happier you.
M, 48, C-Suite in Fintech; evolving family dynamics, parenting, professional excellence
“I came to see Xinyi a few years ago when I was seeking support in transitioning myself out of a toxic relationship and struggling to juggle multiple responsibilities in my life. In addition to being a single father to a pre-teen and having a demanding senior leadership role in the dynamic tech industry, I needed to feel a great sense of self-value and actualisation.
Xinyi helped me identify issues and relationships to prioritise while patiently listening and guiding me through many difficult phases of the turnaround and recovery journey. What struck me as so special about Xinyi’s approach was that she demonstrated sharp acumen to pick up and deep-dive into issues that really affected me emotionally and mentally and to engage in active discussion to correctly assess and help me understand the issues. She also showed me versatility to reframe my perception of issues that previously demotivated me to take action and then to translate to actionable follow-up items.
As I recently remarried and have a new addition to the family, dynamics have evolved and increased in complexity. I look forward to continuing to seek Xinyi’s guidance and support in navigating through new challenges in this new phase of my life.”
F, 53, Lawyer and mother of adult client with anxiety
“My 25-year-old daughter has been seeing Xinyi for 8 years since we sought help to manage her anxiety attacks. Despite her initial reticence, my daughter seemed to make an immediate connection with Xinyi and their sessions continued on Skype when she returned overseas for studies. Over time, I observed that my daughter was better able to regulate her emotions and generally cope better under stressful conditions.
It was invaluable to have someone my daughter was able to trust and talk to, especially during the time she was miles away from home and particularly vulnerable.
Xinyi was always responsive to me (as the concerned parent) while being careful not to betray confidentiality. It gave me a measure of peace of mind to know I had her in the wings to look out for my child and provide that much needed support to her.”
F, 19, Student Athlete and Student Leader; depression, suicidal ideation, family dynamics, social anxiety, academic excellence
“I started seeing Xinyi in 2018 for issues that initially related to depersonalisation, depression and suicidal thoughts. As we spoke, I realised that I also struggled with self-confidence that manifested in an eating disorder. I also sought guidance on how best to navigate my relationship with my family, mainly my parents; and just wanted to receive advice in general - with regard to school, social life, and personal growth.
What I am most appreciative of is the opportunity to have had a kind, objective (but intelligently biased), and friendly presence to talk to and bounce ideas off of. Talking with Xinyi has been the driving force in gleaning lessons that I would have otherwise been reluctant to pursue. In every session, she’s provided a listening ear and decisive advice to rely and lean on. Moreover, it’s simple but, through the groundedness and practicality of our conversations, I have been able to meet a friend who I value greatly and that just improves the quality of life overall.
I look forward being able to share in the new challenges and interests that may come with my moving to the US for college and living independently for the first time.
TL;DR: more nice conversations and spending time with a genuinely great human being.”
F, 63, HR Specialist and mother of adult client with schizoaffective disorder and autism
“My son is receiving support to address his anxiety, adjustment disorder, suicidal thoughts, depression, and strained family relationships.
Xinyi is able to identify his challenges and equip him with coping skills to relieve negative thoughts. She provides professional guidance on stress management mechanisms, activities on moving forward, and helps develop methods of coping with school stress. The most noticeable change I see in my son is his anger management, and his ability to interact better with people because of an improvement in his social skills. He is also less anxious and fearful of change since starting sessions with Xinyi.
I look forward to progressive improvement of his personality growth, to seeing him build up his ability to be self-sufficient, to cope better in accepting fear, and eventually reducing the frequency and intensity of his negative thoughts in challenging situations.”
F, 18, International Student; major depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety
“I started seeing Xinyi in 2021 for anxiety, major depression, active suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem/confidence, and social anxiety. I was referred by a friend who realised I was struggling with these issues after a suicide attempt.
Therapy has helped me sort through some of my mental hurdles through shifting perspectives and thinking more rationally. In ways more than one, it has provided me with alternatives in what originally seemed like a hopeless scenario. Now, I feel that I can better cope with social pressures as well as stressful situations.
Looking to the future, I hope to continue this journey together towards bettering myself as a person, understanding myself and formulating my voice and identity. While overcoming my mental health issues is no easy feat, I hope to become a little better than yesterday, one step at a time.”
F, 35, Tech; work stress and burnout, leadership management skills
“I've been with Xinyi since 2017, and we've been working together on several areas for support. Initially, we focused on managing work stress and burnout, but it grew to cover more areas both professionally (e.g. team management, work satisfaction, setting boundaries) and personally (e.g. anxiety, resilience building).
I've met with several therapists prior to meeting Xinyi. I've continued on with her through the years as Xinyi is really great at breaking down challenges into smaller pieces, helping me understand my behaviour, and providing excellent recommendations on possible next steps. She offers great perspective, remembers key details, and has a great sense of humour when it’s helpful and value-adds to my understanding. Building a rapport with Xinyi over the years has been helpful, as she can offer me direction based on knowing how I react to certain situations and stress. As a result, over the last few years, I've found success in better managing my emotions, coping with work stress, managing my anxiety, and building resiliency. It's had a positive impact on my work, my personal relationships, and also my own personal happiness.
I look forward to continuing working together with Xinyi. Her knowing my history, and us having great rapport, have been critical in my self-improvement journey. As my life changes and new challenges approach, I feel confident that Xinyi is the best at helping me navigate life’s ups and downs.”
“I first saw Xinyi in 2019, seeking support in managing school stress and escalating suicidal ideations. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and worked with her to identify triggers by talking through my history of low self-esteem, self-harm, illness, body image, and family dynamic issues. Our sessions helped me develop healthier coping methods that were sustainable in my daily routines; these were tailored to changing my negative thought patterns and habits. I learned to prioritise tasks and work more efficiently, which gave me confidence in surviving, and eventually thriving, in competitive, high-stress environments.
I was also encouraged to reflect upon certain core beliefs that limited my self-growth by keeping me in a victimising and fearful mindset. I built trust in myself through practising techniques Xinyi recommended to me in tackling academic, personal, and familial challenges, and seeing positive results from them.
Notably, I became acutely aware and respectful of my mental and physical limitations, knowing when to rest and when to push myself out of my comfort zone in moderation. I appreciate Xinyi’s genuine, considerate, and knowledgeable presence that encourages me to be vulnerable and honest about what needs to change and how I can do better. I also appreciate her holistic readings of my various life situations, which allow me to hone my own judgement while recognising others’ alternative perspectives. This partnership expands my understanding of myself and how I can better navigate this world given my strengths and areas to improve upon.
Additionally, Xinyi affirms my efforts and celebrates my achievements, thus giving me the assurance that I am progressing in the right direction. I feel supported in our meetings, even when we are having difficult conversations, and they are always well-paced and thoughtfully led. I am looking forward to working with Xinyi in my transition to working life, to become a more assertive, perceptive, and communicative individual.”
F, 25, Fresh Graduate; depression, anxiety, self-harm, body image, boundaries and assertiveness
F, 23, Mental Health Care Coordinator; major depression, sexual identity, family dynamics, boundaries and assertiveness
“I first started seeing Xinyi during Junior College while was going through a particularly difficult episode of depression. I wasn't the kind of person who tended to share very deep feelings with my friends and family, so a lot of times it was like my emotions were bottled up and didn't have anywhere to go. There were many times I thought about ending my life, and at that point, I truly believed that there was no fixing how I felt.
Seeking formal treatment was one of the best decisions I think I ever made. It was tough for me to admit that I needed therapy, but I don't think I can discount how cathartic and freeing it was being able to share everything with no filter and being completely open with my feelings for the first time. Xinyi was great at creating a welcoming environment where I felt safe and understood, and having that was a lifesaver during a period where I felt incredibly alone.
She taught me how to process my emotions in a more positive and less maladaptive way while acknowledging that they were valid, and helped me to internalize that it wasn't me who was the problem -- it was my mental illness. Learning how to separate the two was one of the core lessons I learned during therapy. Additionally, Xinyi helped me to identify my strengths and gave me the motivation I needed to help me achieve my goal of studying at my dream school in America.
Currently, I work in New York, also in the mental health field, and am planning on pursuing a graduate degree in clinical or counseling psychology, especially because I know first-hand the impact that a good therapist can have on someone's life. For me, Xinyi was that person and she can definitely be that for you. I think the fact that she still checks in with me years after my last in-person session with her and even though I'm living and working in America shows just how much she cares for her clients.
If you're interested in therapy, I would definitely recommend giving Xinyi a visit.”
F, 25, Mental Health Researcher; depression, anxiety, self-harm, grief and loss, parent-child dynamics, academic excellence
“I have been seeking support from Xinyi for the past 8 years. When I first met Xinyi, I was battling symptoms of depression and anxiety, including self-harm and panic attacks. I was also struggling to cope with grief from loss of a loved one, and had significant difficulty managing personal relationships with people around me.
I speak to Xinyi about the adverse childhood events that I’ve experienced, and we discuss how these experiences shape the way I perceive the world, my triggers, and my deep-rooted habits. I also speak to Xinyi about my relationship with substance use, and the impulsive urges that I struggle to overcome. Recently, I also noticed features of autism spectrum disorder; I’m in the process of learning ways to cope and adapt to this, and we discuss how to capitalise on some of these features to enhance my productivity and efficiency at work. Additionally, Xinyi has supported me in my journey to improve my sleep hygiene, as I struggle with nocturnal panic attacks and recurrent nightmares due to stress and anxiety I experience during the day.
In my sessions with Xinyi, I feel understood, validated, and seen. She continues to guide me through any adversities I experience in a non-judgemental, honest, and empathetic manner, and I leave our therapy sessions feeling motivated to continue working on myself. Xinyi has helped me gain a better understanding of myself, and not only have I grown more confident in my strengths, but I have also gained the courage to improve on my weaknesses. In achieving a greater understanding of myself, I have also become more aware of my triggers, unhealthy thought patterns, and reactive behaviours. I use this knowledge to reflect on myself outside of our sessions, enhancing the gains that I receive from therapy.
Importantly, I learned the skills needed to cope with distressing emotions and overcome impulsive urges, as well as tools to manage my relationships with loved ones. The skills I have picked up through therapy with Xinyi are tailored to my needs so that I can effectively problem-solve and go through difficult life situations in a healthier manner. Over the years, Xinyi has journeyed with me through many ups and downs and we have discussed many interesting topics. At each stage of my life, Xinyi has supported me to actualise my goals and motivated me to make positive changes in all aspects of my life.
While I first met Xinyi in order to cope with depression and anxiety, through our time working together I have also learned how to manage moments of stress and burnout, and received coaching to excel in my educational and career goals. I have learned how to cope with the sensory difficulties I experience and improve my sleep hygiene. I trust Xinyi to be open, empathetic, and knowledgeable regardless of the issues I am facing, and know that I can always seek her support whenever I am facing any difficulties. I look forward to continue learning more about myself through our partnership, showing myself more self-compassion, and overcoming my maladaptive coping mechanisms.”
M, 16, Student; sexual identity, self-worth, life-skills
“Xinyi has helped me come to terms with my sexuality and has taught me how to love myself more. She has been helpful in teaching me life skills from time management to communication skills. I am very thankful for her help and her open mind.”
F, 20, University Student; anxiety, PTSD, eating disorder, family dynamics
“I started seeing Xinyi in 2017 for an array of different difficulties such as anxiety, family dynamic issues, eating disorder, PTSD, coping strategies and stress management with most of them intertwining with one another.
I have always taken the stance that therapy does not always have to revolve around negative topics of concern and urgency. I view my sessions with Xinyi as equally enriching during the more positive seasons of my life as they help me reinforce and perpetuate my positive behaviours and habits. Her reminders and affirmation of what I am doing right alongside encouragement of what I should implement in my life give me a sense of balance and mental clarity.
I am looking forward to receiving more advice and a change in perspective for me to better know how to problem-solve certain issues, especially those that, with Xinyi’s coaching, I have learned to accept and have made peace with. With me not having many people I can confide in, Xinyi’s providing me with concrete, actionable steps is something I need as they help guide my feelings and actions. Overall, having a clear plan of knowing what to do in times of crisis is the most beneficial for me as it would prevent me from feeling overwhelmed and lost.”
F, 26, Student Care Staff; major depression with psychosis, anxiety, self-harm, eating disorder, parent-child dynamics, self-worth, assertiveness
“When I first met Xinyi in mid-2019, I was seeking support and coaching for depression. I remember clearly that I was very withdrawn, and could not speak much during our first session; it was as though I had lost my voice and I just wanted to hide or sink into the chair. At that point, I was experiencing many negative events concurrently, and the trauma was amplified to the point where my will to live and confidence were depleted. I also struggled with anxiety, eating disorder, sleeping difficulties and self-harm. I felt I had completely lost my direction in life and was fearful of waking up every day.
Xinyi helped me regain my voice and lower the fear of being alive in me. This whole journey of adulting has been really challenging and I am grateful to Xinyi for walking me through it step by step.
She taught me how to present and carry myself so that my voice can be projected, and this helped me to slowly regain confidence in myself. She taught me how to set routines and rediscover my interests and I am now able to set goals and find joy in my hobbies. She equipped me with various ways to cope with stress and has always been patient to listen to all my issues, slowly going through them with me. She made sessions feel so easy that they feel like a catch-up session with a friend rather than a formal therapy session. I don’t know where I would be now if not for her, and this bond is one thing that I really hold close to my heart.
It has been 3 years since I first met Xinyi, and I am glad to be able to journey my life with her. Being able to speak now is still a miracle to me each day, and I really treasure my voice now, much more than before. She watched me grow over the years and there have certainly been tremendous, positive changes in my life.
I look forward to growing further with her step by step, as I progress to different phases in my life. This partnership is nothing short of great and Xinyi is the most patient person in my life. Xinyi is one big pillar of support to me that I will never forget. She is reliable, amiable, and always smiling to welcome her clients to sessions. Thank you for being a part of my life.”
M, 24, University Student; coping with autism, hallucinations, suicidal thoughts, family dynamics, social skills, stress and anger management
“I started seeing Xinyi as I was seeking support in areas regarding adjustment issues, emotional outbursts, coping with hallucinations and suicidal thoughts. I also struggled with strained relationships with some of my family members.
Xinyi was able to guide me and taught me skills and abilities that have helped me manage my mood, as well as interact with other people in a more pleasant way. These skills are helpful as I have autism, and it is very difficult for me to understand social interaction. I have learned to feel more comfortable and confident in small groups, and as I continue to see Xinyi, I look forward to learning new skills in how I can interact with others on a wider scale.
I am also seeking a better understanding of family members through therapy and learning ways to have better conversations that allow us to compromise instead of fight. Xinyi has been a fundamental help with this and the continuation of our consultation helps with teaching me to understand myself and my family better.”
“I am seeking support and coaching to cope with family issues, school stress, and burnout.
Xinyi has helped me a lot in managing my thoughts and how I can respond to tough situations. Through monthly sessions with her, I learned to deal with my daily problems with more effective approaches and how I can try better ways to cope with stress and the workload given to me. As a student leader, I feel that the sessions benefitted me a lot and improved my relationships with others and how I should put myself first before others; basically placing more importance on self-care.
Moving forward, I think there is still more to learn. I'm looking forward to more ways I can manage myself and my relationships with those around me.”
F, 15, Student Leader; school stress and burnout, effective leadership and communication, family dynamics