“I’m seeking therapy with Xinyi for low self-esteem, family dynamic issues (due to generational trauma), anger management, burnout, and educational excellence.

I wasn’t brought up in a functional, healthy family or environment. I constantly felt like I wasn’t good enough because whatever (minimal) positive appraisal I got was based on academic achievements and other things to show my excellence to the world. I tried doing things for myself, but at some point, my own needs and desires became intertwined with the needs of a family who barely showed affection to me, just for any sense of validation. I would constantly yell, scream and purposely pick fights with my parents just to show them how much they hurt me, and to hurt them back in return. I want to let myself love my family (I think a part of me does but doesn’t want to acknowledge it), and I want to experience their love, but I just don’t want to get hurt again. I was contemplating going for therapy long before my breaking point, but none of my close friends were going for it, and there was generally a negative or mocking stigma about therapy in the toxic environment I was in so I held off on going for a long time. But the long and short of it is, I’m relieved I finally did.

I started going to Xinyi around a year ago, and I couldn’t be happier with this decision. Therapy with her has allowed me to identify so many emotions and finally voice the things I’ve felt all this time. Xinyi has helped me identify the root cause of my emotions, and what that has subsequently led to. Sessions are validating and it gives me a whole different perspective, diverging from the expectations I grew up with. I would even say it's liberating. Admittedly, there are times when I react negatively to what Xinyi says. However, at some point, I will need to acknowledge it, so therapy also taught me to be open with criticism and ideas. It will really open your mind one way or another.

 Therapy isn’t an answer booklet to life; it isn’t like tuition where you ask your tutor the answer to a question that you're scratching your head to. Instead of giving you answers, therapy teaches you how to identify your emotions, resilience, independence, and many other things that will better equip you to deal with life’s turbulences. Therapy with Xinyi has become an anchor for me. I trust Xinyi deeply, and I know she has my best interests at heart.

Therapy isn’t something that can solve all your problems overnight. It’s a process, and the duration depends on the person. Personally, I can see myself seeking therapy far into adulthood, or at least until I have healed from my childhood experiences. Even now, I am aware that therapy may seem taboo or something laughable to some, but going for therapy doesn’t mean I’m any weaker or unable to tolerate things compared to others. I’m just willing to admit that I need professional help to ease my burdens and put my thoughts and emotions into words to better myself for the present and future.

Healing is important, and even though therapy may seem scary to people, I implore you to go for it. Do it for yourself because nobody deserves to be hurt.”